insomnia reigns - consistently in possession of my sanity. nina simone reverberates in my ears as the horizon line appears dimly in the backdrop of my skyline windows. here, candles lit and leaving fragrant smoke behind, the breeze playing it's own melody in response; there, silence in the wake of shallow breathing.
i am imperfect. imperfect in the way that i will make you clench your fists in all the right (wrong?) ways. cocky enough to make one realize this but conscious enough to retract my ever saying it once they've figured it out. can't stand simplicity, but would die to live a simplistic life. contradictory in almost every way. love hands and collarbones more than anything else. a need for more than the ordinary.
most importantly - that i am a work in progress (not to steal ani's glory or anything). never believed in full maturity, never will. always the product of a constantly changing environment because one could fully never adapt to all situations with one consecutive idea. passionate. determined. sarcastic. imperfect. always imperfect.
but i am and always will be the fingernails you long to feel across your back, the voice you wish to hear in your ear, the lips you wish to trace. cocky - and in all the wrong (right?) ways.
remember, darling - don't smoke in bed.
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