i used to drink more
but i didn't smile as much,
maybe because
my mouth drooped at the sides
from motor dislocation
or maybe
i just couldn't keep myself
from dwelling over my bathroom's throne

maybe i couldn't enjoy the little lights
of seasons passing through my window
or pressure placed firmly on my chest
from ecstasy kept quiet
couldn't find time because i was wasting time
on lights like a never-ending watercolor
and grounds turning right-side-up or
maybe it was left-side-down
or maybe i just didn't know
i was walking through the mazes of Wonderland

i used to drink more
and i hid things in a closet
fit with a lock and no key
but somewhere along the way
i think i lost that closet
and found that i didn't really need a key

i'll never be a fairytale princess
lord knows i've never wanted to be
but i have always wanted
to be able to feel life's coat sweeping
across my knees